Chapter 15: The Grocery App

My chest tightened. It wasn't the incision this time; it was pure, unadulterated fear. She knew. She had seen me at the chair.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, my voice barely a whisper. "I was sleeping."

Chloe walked to the bed. She set the water on the nightstand, her movements slow and deliberate. She leaned over me, her face inches from mine. I could see the fine lines around her eyes, the slight cake of concealer. She smelled of mint and something sharper. Antiseptic.

"Don't lie to me, Elara," she said. "I can smell the dust on you."

She reached out and brushed her fingers against the shoulder of my pajama top. She held them up. A faint smudge of grey.

"The chair hasn't been vacuumed in weeks," she murmured. "Mark has been... distracted."

I couldn't breathe. My heart was a frantic drum against my ribs.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"I want you to get better," she said. "I want you to be the mother Lily deserves. But you're making it very hard."

She uncapped the pill bottle. Two yellow tablets tumbled into her palm.

"Open."

I shook my head. "No. No more."

"Open," she repeated, her voice hardening. "Or do I have to hold your nose like a child?"

I opened my mouth. She placed the pills on my tongue, her fingers lingering for a second too long. They tasted bitter. Vile.

"Swallow."

I swallowed. The water she gave me was warm, metallic.

"Good," she said. She straightened up, smoothing her shirt over the spot where the milk stain had been. "Now, about the grocery order."

My blood ran cold. The iPad. I had forgotten about the iPad.

"Mark found it," she said. "He was... disappointed."

She pulled the iPad from her tote bag. The screen was cracked, a spiderweb of fractures radiating from the home button.

"He dropped it," she said with a shrug. "Clumsy."

She tapped the screen. It flickered to life, the light harsh in the dim room.

"You changed the order notes," she said. " 'Please ring bell 3 times. Urgent.' "

She looked at me, her expression one of mild curiosity.

"What was urgent, Elara? Did you need more milk? Or were you trying to send a message?"

"I... I just wanted to make sure they heard the bell," I lied. "Sometimes the driver leaves the bags and runs."

"Liar," she said softly. "You were trying to talk to the delivery girl. Jasmine."

She tapped the screen again. The grocery app was open. The order history.

"I fixed it," she said. "I deleted the note. And I added a few things we needed."

She turned the screen toward me.

*Order Updated: 14 items.*
*Added: Infant Formula (4 cans).*
*Added: Pacifiers (2 pack).*
*Added: Sleep Sack (Size 0-3 months).*

Formula. Pacifiers. Things I had sworn I wouldn't use. Things that would make it easier for someone else to feed my baby. Someone else to comfort her.

"Why?" I whispered.

"Because you're not producing enough," she said. "And because you need your rest. Mark agrees. We're switching her to formula tonight."

"No," I said, trying to sit up. "No, you can't. I have milk. I saw... I saw you leak."

The room went deadly silent.

Chloe stared at me. The mask was gone. Her face was a blank slate of calculation.

"You saw nothing," she said.

"I saw the stain," I insisted. "On your shirt. You're lactating. You're feeding her yourself."

She laughed. It was a dry, brittle sound.

"You're hysterical," she said. "Dr. Thorne was right. The psychosis is advancing."

She walked to the door.

"Get some sleep, Elara. You have a big day tomorrow."

"What's tomorrow?"

"Jasmine is coming back," she said. "To drop off the new order."

She smiled.

"I told her to ring the bell three times. Just for you."

She pulled the door shut. I heard the lock click.

I grabbed the iPad. The screen was shattered, but touch still worked. I opened the grocery app again.

I needed to send a message. A real one. One she couldn't delete.

I tapped the "Edit Instructions" field. My fingers shook.

*She is hurting me. Call 911.*

I hit "Save."

The spinning wheel appeared.

*Saving changes...*

The doorknob rattled.

My heart stopped. She hadn't left. She was testing me.

I shoved the iPad under the pillow just as the handle began to turn.